A Pear Without A Pair: The Breast Cancer Journey of Kristy.

Hi friends! I’m Kristy. I’m 36 and I’m a college Communication instructor. I live with my wife and pets in the Midwest.

“It’s probably just a cyst.” Even as I said it I knew it wasn’t true. On May 12, 2020, I was showering and felt a hard spot across the top of my left breast-a spot that I never noticed before, despite (mostly) regular self-exams. I will never forget the way it felt on my fingers and the heavy feeling in my stomach. I ran, dripping wet, into the bedroom and called my wife up to feel it, then made an appointment with my gp. A week later I was having my first mammogram at 35.

“It looks like a cancer.” As I laid on the table where they did the ultrasound, the radiologist did a biopsy and had me call my wife. I didn’t even sit up. The next day she called and said it was invasive ductal carcinoma, and the following day I found out it was Triple Negative.

“I know.” How I responded when my oncologist told me I had beautiful hair. I meant I knew that it was going to fall out, but I was too anxious to process it and correct myself. It makes me cringe but it also makes me laugh, because it reminds me that I’m still me throughout this experience-awkwardness and all.

I had 4 rounds of AC, 12 rounds of Taxol (4 including Carboplatin), and a bilateral mastectomy. I opted for an aesthetic flat closure, and I am so happy with it. I’m seven weeks post-surgery, and slowly getting my strength and range of motion back.

Life as a breast cancer survivor is weird. And hard. And joyful. And confusing. I feel powerful, except when I feel weak. I feel optimistic, except when I’m panicking about recurrence. I feel lucky, except when I think about how incredibly unfair it is. More than anything I feel grateful. Pre-cancer me would have found that sentence cheesy or contrived, but it’s deeply accurate. Even when I’m sore and tired and the hot flashes and neuropathy are driving me absolutely bananas, I’m ALIVE, and thrilled to be.

My biggest piece of advice is to remember that everyone’s experience is different. DON’T GOOGLE. Seek out the info and support you need, but don’t let yourself go down rabbitholes and panic. Do whatever you need to do to keep yourself feeling as good as possible, no apologies. Rest, take breaks, say no.

Lets connect, you can follow me at via Instagram @pearwithoutapear